DOES A TIME IN REWARD BAD BEHAVIOUR?

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Does a time in reward bad behaviour?

By Sarah Conway  Posted May 30, 2021  In Self Regulation

Sarah is a psychologist, mama of 4 and the creator of Mindful Little Minds. She has over 10 years of experience working with children, adolescents and families experiencing mental health problems and has a special interest in anxiety disorders in children. In her spare time she enjoys hugging her kids, drinking coffee, and telling anyone who’ll listen how tired she is.

In traditional parenting circles, time outs are often recommended as a gentle discipline strategy. An alternative to physical punishment or yelling. But if you’ve been following me for any length of time, you would know that I strongly advocate for time ins over time outs. And this is an idea that many parents struggle with. They often ask me, “Isn’t a time in just rewarding my child’s bad behaviour?”  And I understand. I truly do.

You have a child who has just been aggressive, or disruptive. Maybe they’ve broken something, done something you’ve asked them not to, yelled at you, called you a name, or hurt a sibling. And I’m asking you to bring them close to you. Sit with them. Give them a hug. Offer compassion and empathy. See things from their point of view. To offer them love and kindness at a time when they seem the least deserving of it.  It’s hard to do. And it requires a big shift in the way we view our children and their behaviour.  

For more information about co-regulation and safety in connection, please view the full article at Mindful Little Minds.